It is as I said it would be. In spite of my hearty insouciance, we are all insecure and vulnerable at our failings and misgivings. I cannot help but compare myself with you, and see that perhaps you will be better than I already am, because I do not have the heart for this anymore, and your heart is in the right place.
In such close proximity, comparisons must arise and be summarily dealt with. If I feel so inadequate, it is also because you make me feel so, and I must learn to be satisfied and less conscious that in comparison to you, my failings are magnified.