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Too many years, my heart

has waged war against my body.

Whatever is in me isn’t enough

and the machinery my body

has built for itself

is lacking too. My heart

has turned my hands

against their skin,

my nails

digging trenches of red earth

out of this ground,

unearthing landmines

resting dormant

under the surface.

All I have to show for this warfare

is defeat and no victory; is pain

and ruin and

devastation. Still this is my own battle


and I cannot 

keep any 


 – Jollin Tan


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